June 8, 1999

CLICK HERE FOR POINTLESS CELEBRITY GOSSIP

By ROGER ANDERSON Scripps Howard News Service

MICK ON THE MOVE (1): Wednesday, June 2, 1999. USA Today announces that "papers in London, New York, and Caracas, Venezuela," are announcing that Mick Jagger, 55, is currently hot 'n heavy with a Venezuelan beauty named Vanessa Neuman, 28.

MICK ON THE MOVE (2): On the very same day, the New York Post - generally more aggressive than the rag mentioned in our first item - manages to get Vanessa's mom to weigh in on the whole thing.
"He's a slimy old man," observes Antonia Neuman, who is herself almost young enough to be Mick's daughter. (Not really, but you get the point.) "Vanessa had the youth, the beauty, and the money. What could Jagger offer her?"

MICK ON THE MOVE (3): At some point, Vanessa herself obtains the ear of a reporter long enough to say she is not 28, she's 27.

MICK ON THE MOVE (4): Tuesday, June 8, 1999. The New York Daily News enters the fray with word that Mick has issued walking papers to the Neuman youngster.

"Mick and Vanessa are definitely old news," an "unidentified source" is quoted as saying in a London newspaper. "He knew their relationship would become public knowledge eventually, but as soon as it did, Mick said enough is enough." He took the words right out of our mouth.

HUGH GRANT! LIZ HURLEY! (1) The "Notting Hill" star and his spokes model sweetheart recently appeared at some sort of Manhattan affair where a journalist had the gall to ask if they were fixing to get married any time soon.

Liz answered that their matrimonial plan, assuming they have one, "is not going anywhere right now. We're working so hard every day that we don't have time to have a manicure at the moment." And who wants to get married with dirty fingernails?

HUGH GRANT! LIZ HURLEY! (2) On the same occasion cited above, a different reporter was advised by a well-placed "spy" that Hugh and Liz were seen experiencing the following bit of friction.
"Liz caught up with him" as he impatiently made his escape from a throng, "and went to hold his hand - but he just swatted her hand away."

The reporter who saw fit to print this information in what looks like 18-point type then got Hugh's rep on the phone. That person's response to the anecdote was (pick the correct one and win a prize):

1. "You've got to be kidding. Who cares? It's none of your business, anyway."
   
2. "Don't ever bother me again with such claptrap or I’ll stop taking your phone calls."
   
3. "Everybody has their little spats."

The answer is 3. Since you picked 2, it would be pointless to discuss a prize, wouldn't it?

NEWS THAT MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE WHATSOEVER: A few days ago, gossip dowager Liz Smith scooped the world with word that Barbra Streisard's much-ballyhooed New Year's concert in Las Vegas will also feature the talents of John Travolta.

PUTTING MATTERS IN PERSPECTIVE: Brian Dennehy has now achieved a whole new level of fame 'n’ prestige by winning a Tony award for his performance in the revival of Arthur Miller's "Death of a Salesman," but that doesn't mean appearing in a Miller play on the island of Manhattan is any veteran actor's sure­fire shortcut to a financial renaissance. Just consider the case of Peter Falk, who last year starred Off-Broadway in a slightly less well-known Miller piece titled "Mr. Peters' Connections.”

The former Lt. Colombo's "suite at the Essex House," observes one of his people, "cost more than he made from the play." That makes it sound like low-paying work, until you realize a suite at the Essex House costs $60,000 a night. (Again, not really.)

WORDS OF ONE OR MAYBE TWO SYLLABLES: Minnie Driver is going steady with Josh Brolin, son of Barbra Strelsand's current husband. "He's fantastic," Minnie says of Josh. "'A real cowboy, but with a book of e.e. cummings poems hidden inside his flannel jacket." She just said that to give us a headache.

MEDICAL REPORT: Why, you must be wondering, don't you see strange-looking TV newsman Sam Donaldson on the screen much lately? Because he's been suffering from some sort of throat ailment. Although his hope, according to one report, is that the condition will spontaneously heal, he's also thinking about going into competition with his print colleagues, saying, "I'm polishing upon my writing skills.” We're all trembling in our boots, Sam, really.

Roger Anderson is arts and entertainment editor at Scripps Howard News Service.

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