June 4, 1999

PRIVATE JET FEES SPELL THE END FOR ANOTHER CELEBRITY UNION

By ROGER ANDERSON Scripps Howard News Service

PITFALLS OF CELEBRITY MARRIAGE (1): It is being widely reported that Supreme songstress Diana Ross and her husband, Arne Naess, have decided to call it a marital day. Unfortunately, a third party - Paul Bloch, who bills himself as Diana's spokesman - will only say, "We're not commenting on this at all." Which pretty much leaves us high and dry.

Wait, though. Here's the New York Daily News saying that the Daily Mirror of London is claiming the reason Arne is taking a powder is his belief that Diana's typical expenditures of $25,000 per week for private jets, $20,000 per month for vacation lodging and $50,000 per month for clothes are a bit on the excessive side.

PITFALLS OF CELEBRITY MARRIAGE (2): One day Donald Trump's long-standing divorce from Ivana seems like the most amicable split in the history of high finance. The next, the estranged pair are taking unseemly potshots at each other. For instance, here's Donald responding to a rumor that his ex is down to write an autobiography which will make scant mention of him for the excellent reason that he could turn around and sue the pants off her if it did.

“I'm happy she could have garnered the knowledge it takes even to write this kind of book,” Donald remarks to a columnist. We're happy that Donald has garnered the knowledge to use the word "garnered” correctly in a sentence.

PITFALLS OF CELEBRITY MARRIAGE (3): According to statements Jerry Hall's sister has made to a London tab called The Mail, this idea that Jerry and her husband, Mick Jagger, are supposedly in the middle of a tempestuous breakup is a lot of hooey.

"When it looked on the outside as if the whole marriage was falling apart," explains Rosy Hall, recalling the occasion late in November when the press began saying Mick had something going on the side, "there we were with bodyguards at the door and the paparazzi out front, but inside Mick and Jerry were getting along better than they had in months. All their close friends and children were there, and Mick was dressed like a dandy, reading poetry and giving a speech about the history of Thanksgiving."

WEDDING BELLS: On the plus side of the matrimonial theme, here we have Don Johnson finally becoming hitched with his San Francisco socialite lady love, Kelley Phleger, down at the Getty mansion in San Francisco, the city where Don's ho-hum TV program, "Nash Bridges,” is lensed.

Don's flack, Elliott Mintz, remarks that "if we're talking storybook wedding here, if we're talking about what I presume women dream about, this was it.” Presumably, that's unless you're a woman whose dream is to marry someone Melanie Griffith hasn't already dumped twice.

THE FORMER MRS. SONNY BONO: The hilarious new Italian comedy, "Tea with Mussolini," will be in theaters soon, starring Cher, Lily Tomlin, Joan Plowright, Dame Judi Dench and Dame Maggie Smith.

"Cher did say she was frightened to death at the thought of working with us," Joan, a.k.a. Mrs. Laurence Olivier, recently told USA Today, "and I said, 'You don't realize how in awe of you we are, with this multimedia career, the way you get it all together brilliantly.'" (Apparently Cher's infomercials never aired in Britain.)

LITERARY NEWS: You'll be overjoyed to learn that the publishing folks at Simon & Schuster have convinced Tina Sinatra to write a book about her late dad.

"It will have true insights and lots of new stuff nobody knows or has seen," S&S big shot Michael Korda tells gossip dowager Liz Smith, "but let's get this straight - Tina saw her father through realistic eyes, but she isn't about to write a "Daddy Dearest." What a relief that we got that straight.

ROYALTY NEWS: Finally, Parade mag's Walter Scott disabuses an inquiring reader of the notion that Prince William of Britain has got some kind of romantic thing going with Emma Parker Bowles, the niece of his dad's steady date. He cites the fact that William is 16 while Emma is 22.

"The story of this romance," Walter quotes royals columnist Nigel Dempster as saying, "comes from the febrile invention of journalists." We're going to take exception to that as soon as we've looked up "febrile."

Roger Anderson is arts and entertainment editor at Scripps Howard News Service.

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