June 9, 2000

Madonna in denial, and rightly so

By ROGER ANDERSON Scripps Howard News Service

RUMORS RUN RAMPANT: Everywhere you turn these days you see gossip, innuendo, unattributed quotes, deep-background observation and wild-eyed hypothesizing about the doings of top celebs. Herewith a review and analysis.

MADONNA: People are saying that Madonna and Guy Ritchie, the British filmmaker with whom she is supposed to be hot 'n' heavy and who also has fathered an incipient bambino upon her are history, with the union foundering on Madonna's wish to return stateside vs. Guy's desire to stay in the mother country.

THE TRUTH INSOFAR AS IT IS KNOWN: But Liz Rosenberg, queen of the publicists, who counts the Material Matron among her illustrious clients, tells the New York Daily News that such tales constitute a "complete fabrication," going on to stipulate that Madonna is "very happy to be back in London with Guy" after visiting the U.S. to shoot a video.

"There are no issues about where they are going to live," Liz goes on. "It will be wherever their work takes them. It's a two-career family."

Being an equal opportunity flack, Liz also gives USA Today a bit of intelligence, to wit: "She (that is, Madonna) is very much together with Guy, there are no issues keeping them apart."

Just in the nick of time, a fellow who was recently fired as Madonna's butler has the good grace to show up with a lawsuit against her and a willingness to speak to reporters about his experiences as her employee. The trouble is that this ex-butler doesn't seem to understand the basic rules of celebrity dish, since he insists on saying that Madonna is a wonderful gal and Guy a "top bloke" even though he himself is in the midst of suing the pants off them.

BILLY BOB THORNTON AND ANGELINA JOLIE: These two celebrities, the Daily News said one day last week, are "finally admitting they're a couple. But they swear they haven't eloped."

By the same token, USA Today went on the record May 2 with Billy Bob's "rep," one Michelle Bega, saying that the pair hadn't tied any knots.

As we go to press, however, every reputable news agency in the Western Hemisphere has sworn on a stack of Bibles that the two did actually get married in Las Vegas a couple of days after the above disclaimers appeared in print.

So were the rumors true or untrue? It depends on your interpretation of the space-time continuum and the Hubble constant.

TROUBLE ON THE SET OF 'CHARLIE'S ANGELS': Every rag in the universe has been groaning with rumors that the "Charlie's Angels" big-screen production is beset with personality problems and general unhappiness. Specifically, gossip claims that Lucy Liu, who plays an "angel," and Bill Murray, who plays go-between Bosley, are like oil and water, making matters so tense that Bill took a powder from the set.

"Oh, no," Lucy tells a reporter. "He's great. I have heard that there have been problems with our chemistry. I have not read any of the stories, but it's hurtful. I have not done anything wrong."

Thanks for clearing that up for us, Lucy.

"I do my job as best I can and try to get along with everyone. I don't know why they print stories like that."

Just malicious, we guess. Thanks again.

"There are absolutely no problems. Just wait until the film comes out. You'll see."

To be honest, Lucy, at this point we have no desire to see it, but do keep us posted.

THE 'MARRY A MULTIMILLIONAIRE WOMAN': For several days it has been bruited about that Darva Conger, the emergency room nurse who gave her "husband" the royal heave-ho just days after getting spliced to him on live TV, was going to pose for Playboy.

This particular rumor is true, according to sources at the magazine, although Playboy "rep" Cindy Rakowitz is a bit more coy.

"It's always been our policy to neither confirm nor deny who's going to be in upcoming issues," she tells a reporter before going on to admit that Darva has recently been accepted into the Playboy family with open arms. "She's sweet and pretty," Cindy says. "Not at all what I expected."

BO DEREK: You know perfectly well that people are saying Ted Turner, decidedly on the outs with Jane Fonda, is currently involved with Bo Derek. But People magazine has a better idea, pointing out that Bo herself denies such a liaison and was recently seen in public with David Dreier, a congressman from California. Bo's people even admit that she and David have seen each other, and one assumes that it wasn't merely across a crowded room, although that's certainly possible.

Roger Anderson is arts and entertainment editor at Scripps Howard News Service.

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