March 28, 2000

Top model: Why I gave oldish rocker husband the heave-ho

By ROGER ANDERSON Scripps Howard News Service

AS THE WORLD TURNS 'N' TURNS: "I looked at this woman, who must have been around 80," says the woman who must be (and, in fact, is) around 30, "and realized that I was going to be like her one day. I suddenly knew that I didn't want to get to her age and have any regrets about what I've done or not done. It was a crucial turning point for me."

Name the person who made the above statement and the publication in which it was printed.

1. Marie Curie in the Atlantic Monthly, shortly before she discovered radium.
   
   
2. Mia Farrow in Look magazine, shortly before she divorced Frank Sinatra.
   
   
3. Rachel Hunter in the New York Post, giving the reasons she split from her husband, Rod Stewart.

MARITAL MADONNA: The answer is 3. We turn now to a Post columnist who goes way out on a limb to opine that Madonna will soon become matrimonially committed to Guy Ritchie, the British filmmaker who has fathered a bundle of joy upon her: But the columnist of whom we speak (we name no names) doesn't let it go at that.

... as we all know," he says, "flacks lie through their teeth, when a simple 'no comment' would suffice. I wrote six weeks ago that Madonna was expecting, and the denials are still ringing in my ears." They're still ringing in our ears, too, and we weren't even there.

HIDDEN TALENTS: By the way, we have it on good authority that Dennis Weaver - who used to play Chester on "Gunsmoke” - has been branching out into the research-and-development field lately. Name the new product that he is expending his energy upon.

1. A motorized golf bag.

2. An anti-gravity belt.

3. An alternative fuel that costs only 45 cents a gallon.

The answer (again) is 3, although we were hoping it was 2.

THE HEARTTHROB CORNER: The New York Daily News sees fit to report that Chris Kirkpatrick - one of the guys who make up the hit singing group 'N Sync - is currently involved with a certain person of the female persuasion. That lucky individual is named Danielle Raabe, whom the News describes as

1. "a Rhodes scholar."
   
   
2. "a member of a NASCAR pit crew."
   
   
3. "blond and she has an awesome bod."

MORE ROMANTIC STUFF: The last one (the answer is 3) was obviously too easy, so test your mettle on this. Kimberly Conrad - who, like Rachel Hunter, has lately been living apart from her much older husband, in Kimberly's case Hugh Hefner - was recently spotted pitching woo with a certain someone. Who, exactly?

1. Wallace Shawn, son of late New Yorker editor William Shawn
   
   
2. Bob Guccione, publisher of Penthouse magazine.
   
   
3. Stefanos Miltsakakis, the villain in Jean-Claude Van Damme's "Maximum Risk."

THINGS GET UGLY: Of more interest is the fact that "Freaks & Geeks," one of those rare television programs that is (or was) actually worth watching, has been cancelled by NBC in favor of putting yet another edition of "Dateline" on the weekly schedule. (We almost forgot - the answer to the last question was 3.) Matters become personal as "Freaks" mastermind Judd Apatow characterizes "Dateline" as "an evil show that takes human tragedy and turns it into entertainment."

Reached for comment, “Dateline" honcho Neal Shapiro has this rejoinder to make: "I think the quality of our work and our awards speak for themselves," which could be construed as begging the question.

WELCOME HER BACK: Fortunately, we have another Madonna tidbit with which to close the column. Here she is talking with gossip dowager Liz Smith, who observes that the public is always expecting wayward stars to repent for any behavior of theirs that may be deemed untoward. To which the Material Matron replies:

"No. I think the media wants that. They feel such a sense of entitlement - you know, 'we made you' --that they feel it's OK to tear you down, and then they want you to apologize for your 'bad behavior.' But I don't think the people really want that."

All right, Madonna, just for that, you can go stand in a corner until you're ready to say you're sorry.

Roger Anderson is arts and entertainment editor at Scripps Howard News Service.

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