March 7, 2000

Seinfeld eyes East Hampton manse: Where's the welcome wagon?

By ROGER ANDERSON Scripps Howard News Service

CELEBRITY REAL ESTATE: You can stop worrying that Jerry Seinfeld is barely managing to make ends meet now that he's no longer permanently employed, because here's word that he and his bride, Jessica Sklar, are fixing to purchase Billy Joel's place in East Hampton. The spread comprises 12 acres, and they're highly expensive acres, too - the buzz is that the place comes with a price tag in the $40 million range.

Fortunately, a Jerry employee is on hand to tell the New York Post that the whole thing is on the up and up. "Yes, Jerry is buying Billy's house," says Elizabeth Clarke, who apparently is on a first-name basis with both stars.

The only possible fly in the ointment is the fact that Billy's ex-­neighbors-to-be seem to have conceived a powerful fondness for him.

"We like that Seinfeld is coming," says East Hamptonite Steven Gaines, a book author (just don't ask us what books he's written because we don't have any idea), "but Billy Joel is really beloved out here. He lived here quietly and happily. Nothing against Seinfeld, but we'd rather have them both." Maybe if Jessica goes in search of greener connubial pastures (it's happened before), Jerry and Billy can room together.

CELEBRITY PRINCIPLES - A CASE STUDY: Sela Ward not only has a big TV hit series on her hands with "Once and Again" but recently starred in a TV movie titled "Catch a Falling Star." As if these didn't constitute enough professional triumphs for any one woman, she also helms a Lifetime documentary on women and aging called "The Changing Face of Beauty" that is scheduled to air March 19.

Sela, as you know, is 43 years old and looking great.

"We need to embrace whatever age we are and own it," she tells USA Today. "We live inauthentically and do violence to ourselves when we lie about how old we are."   
                             
But wait - a mere two or three paragraphs later, she's equivocating on the subject of plastic surgery.

"I don't know that I have the courage NOT to have plastic surgery," she reflects. "The thing for me is not deciding to have it or not. It's about how we feel inside - that strong center of knowing that I'm OK no matter how old or thin I am." In other words: If you wake up one morning on the operating table, don't fight it.

CELEBRITY DENIALS: Jeannette Walls, one of our gossip colleagues who is on staff at MSNBC, has been exciting a lot of pother lately with her book, "Dish," in which she apparently digs up a bit of dirt on all kinds of famous persons. Among those feeling stung, according to an item in the New York Daily News, is editor Harold Evans, who takes exception to certain allegations Jeanette makes in "Dish" concerning the nature of Harold's courtship with his wife, Tina Brown of "Talk."

"Tina did not 'stalk' me with passionate love letters," as Jeanette implied, Harold says in a letter to her publisher. "The implication is wrong and malicious. We both wrote to each other over a long period when we were on different continents." That was before e­mail.

CELEBRITY REVELATIONS: Speaking of books and the people who write them, a scribe named Tom King is drawing some attention with a tome he has written titled "David Geffen: A Biography of the New Hollywood," which purports to give the seamy side of David's phenomenal success as a show-biz entrepreneur, as encapsulated by Tom as follows:

"It became clear that Geffen would do or say almost anything to wangle introductions, build relationships and win clients." Isn't there a federal statute against building relationships?

CELEBRITY POP QUIZ: On the occasion of the release of her new movie, "The Next Best Thing," Madonna sees fit to speak candidly to People magazine about her real-life love affair with British film director Guy Ritchie. Pick the correct quote below and win a big prize.

1. "It's no big deal. Mainly we're attracted to each other physically, and even that's starting to wear off. And he's a skinflint."
2. "It's a serious relationship. It's excellent. I have an enormous amount of respect for him as a person, his work, his talent. He's very bright."

Of course the correct quote is 2. If you chose correctly, you will be receiving a prize from Publishers Clearinghouse in the mail tomorrow or the next day.

CELEBRITY CANDOR: Several generations of men have habitually paid court to women to the musical accompaniment of Barry White, so the question is: What does Barry White listen to when he's pitching woo?

"I don't need no music for no seduction," Barry recently advised the TV show "20/20 Downtown." "I just get in the mood, and get my lady together, and we're gonna go to work."

Barry, take our advice - try one of those pre-assembled ladies, it’s much less time-consuming.

Roger Anderson is arts and entertainment editor at Scripps Howard News Service.

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