November 23, 1999

JIM CARREY'S FLACK EARNS A 'D,' CHER'S A 'B-MINUS'

By ROGER ANDERSON Scripps Howard News Service

SOURCES RELIABLE AND UNRELIABLE (1): One can't help but feel struck right between the eyes by published rumors that ace funnyman Jim Carrey is going to get married to Renee Zellweger, who starred in "Jerry Maguire" and, more recently but less creditably, in "The Bachelor." And while the fact that Jim and Renee worked together on the yet-to-be-released motion picture "Me, Myself, and Irene" is certainly suggestive, even the New York Post gets nowhere fast in its effort to obtain confirmation.

While Renee's publicist apparently denies such gossip, Jim's - and Jim's flack is named Marleah Leslie, in case you keep track of such things - is even less helpful. 'I don't discuss my client's personal life," she sniffs.

SOURCES RELIABLE AND UNRELIABLE (2): Matters are just a bit more satisfactory when we turn to Cher, who is said to have purchased a cemetery plot at the Pere Lachaise boneyard in gay Paree, where it just so happens Jim Morrison is interred.

"It's true," her spokesperson, whose name is not given in the New York Daily News report from which we are pilfering this item. "She did buy a plot. I don't know who it was for." Just as long as it’s not for us. (We have a prior engagement.)

SOURCES RELIABLE AND UNRELIABLE (3): And then there's a story saying that Famke Janssen - a very beautiful woman indeed who has had the honor of appearing in at least one James Bond film - is way on the outs with Tod (Kip) Williams, the movie director to whom she is married. Such intimations do not originate, though, with any employee of Famke's or Kip's. Instead, a reporter relies upon the testimony of an unnamed "eyewitness."

"I saw them making out," this person says, referring to a supposed close romantic encounter between Famke and a professional snowboarder known only as York, "so I asked her friend about Kip and he told me they broke up about a month ago.”

WHEN ATTORNEYS COLLIDE: Let's not forget that CBS talking head Bryant Gumbel's divorce from his wife of 26 years, June, is not the smoothest proposition in the world. For example, June, in the course of a People mag interview she recently sat still for, accuses Bryant of being not just an adulterer but a skinflint – a salvo that gets Bryant's attorney up on his hind legs to make the following remark.

"Bryant and June have been separated for close to three years," says Stanley Arkin (for such is the shyster's name). "Hillary came afterwards." (Hillary is Hillary Quinlan, Bryant's current female companion.) “They fell in love, and they're together now."

Nor is this all. Stanley also strongly implies that any suggestion Bryant isn't holding up his end of the fiscal bargain is so much piffle.

"She has a house in Winchester worth several million dollars, and an elaborate apartment in New York," Stanley says with reference to June Gumbel's accommodations. "But now she's being a total pain." That last is, of course, a legal term.

But June's attorney, the very famous Barry Slotnick, unsurprisingly begs to differ with Stanley's assessment.

"I describe (Bryant's) generosity as not being very generous," Barry says, displaying an impressive command of rhetoric. "Unfortunately, a judge will have to decide the financial issues."

HEROINE WORSHIP: The beautiful Rebecca Romijn-Stamos's career is expanding like yeast. Not only is she closing in on two full years as Cindy Crawford's successor as host of "House of Style" on MTV, she's also going to appear in a movie derived from Marvel Comics' wildly popular "X-Men' series. Yet it's the Cindy connection that still truly inspires her, according to what Rebecca tells USA Today.

"An amazing role model," she says of Cindy, adding that "House of Style" "was really her baby. She was the first model to try the TV thing and host a show. They were big shoes to fill." It's like having to construct buildings designed by Frank Lloyd Wright.

WORDS TO LIVE BY: Some fellow named Roger Friedman who writes for Foxnews.com lends sorely needed perspective to this deal where movie stars think the gala premieres of their movies are put on for THEIR benefit.

"I'm always amused by stars who come to their premieres and think they're at a private party," Roger muses. "Here's my advice: Premieres are WORK not fun. If you want to have fun or visit with friends and family, do it on another night." Or he'll stop writing about you, understand?

Roger Anderson is arts and entertainment editor at Scripps Howard News Service.

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