March 21, 2000

Tina Brown held captive in desert by demanding children

By ROGER ANDERSON Scripps Howard News Service

LET THEM EAT OSCAR: Perhaps the most disheartening news relating to this year's Academy Awards is that celebrity-mongering Talk mag editor Tina Brown has decided to forgo the big pre-Oscar dinner she hosted last year.

While the New York Daily News columnist from whom we glean this info implies that Tina's decision represents despair over the difficulty of grabbing a piece of the media-attention pie during that high-profile event, Tina herself suggests that the do was just plain inconvenient for her.

"Last year," she recalls, "I left a ranch in Arizona in the middle of a family vacation just so I could host an Oscar party in L.A. This year, my children said, 'Not again."'

Tina, two words: Military school.

"The Globes are more intimate," Tina maintains, referring to the Golden Globes, an awards gala that falls earlier than the Oscars and has almost climbed its way out of the ignominy in which it languished for decades, and where Tina's social functions actually do go over quite famously.

MORE PROOF THAT A LOT OF MEN ARE NOT VERY INTELLIGENT: A young actress named Maria Sokoloff who has a role on the hit TV series "The Practice" is not at all shy about telling People magazine how pleased with herself she is because a "Practice" scenario last year had her smooching on camera with star Dylan McDermott, widely considered by American women to be the bee's knees. Nor, apparently, is it only gals who find her experience intriguing.

"Guys want to know how they can get blue eyes like Dylan," she explains. "Some guy actually asked me what drops Dylan uses to make his eyes so blue. I was like, 'No, you have to be born like that."'

Maria, four words: Check their IQ scores.

JENNIFER LOVES AUDREY: Some observers are irate over the fact that TV star Jennifer Love Hewitt is portraying the ineffable Audrey Hepburn in a TV movie airing Monday (March 27), on the grounds that Jennifer is far too lightweight for the role.

Undaunted, the "Time of Your Life" star tells Parade mag how the project arose.

"I met with the producer, Kimberly Rubin, about something else," she says. "While we were talking, I mentioned that my role model was Audrey Hepburn. She said she'd been dreaming for five years of doing a movie about her. And I said I'd been dreaming for 11 years of playing her!"

Jennifer, before you go on, a warning: We allow only one exclamation mark per celebrity quote per column. OK, go ahead.

"Five days later," the youngster continues, "she called and said, 'Do you want to play Audrey? And I said, yeah (sarcastically); and hung up. But she called back and said she'd gone to ABC and told them I wanted to do it, and they bought it!"

Sorry, Jennifer, that's two. Next?

ART FOR THE AGES: On the face of it, the new film "Final Destination" would appear to be a brainless thriller targeted at teen audiences - but not if you listen to what co-star Ali Larter tells USA Today about the pic.

"When I read it; Alil says, "I was doing "House on Haunted Hill," and I was excited. So many teen movies are fluffy. Sure, you can't take this too seriously; it's a fun ride. It's got the best deaths of any movie I've seen, and it's scary. But it makes you think about fate and destiny when you leave."

So, really, it's more like "Hedda Gabler" than "I Know What You Did Last Summer," when you stop and think about it.

PRIVACY ISSUES: Celebrity rudeness runs rampant as word leaks out that "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" star Sarah Michelle Gellar and movie hunk Freddie Prinze Jr. recently dined together at a Malibu restaurant, where they enjoyed sake and salmon tartar while tendering one another many signs of affection and regard. That's what someone has told People mag, which quite courteously then seeks comment from Sarah and Freddie's respective "reps," who have the unmitigated nerve to decline comment.

PRIVACY ISSUES, CONTINUED: And then there's gossip emanating from the Mother Country to the effect that Helena Bonham Carter is back in itemhood with Kenneth Brannagh, who, as you'll recall, split from his Oscar-winning spouse, Emma Thompson, for Helena's sake. Rumorists apparently go so far as to say that Helena and Ken were seen kissing in public.

"We might have been seen kissing," Helena tells the Daily Mail of London, "but I'm not going to say anything," but Helena, you already have.

"They are in a slightly loose relationship," a "friend" reportedly remarks, "which may be why it is being kept quiet." This is quiet?

PRIVACY ISSUES, A FINAL SALVO: The award for most inconsiderate and unforthcoming celebrity of the week, however, goes to Jerry Ohrbach of "Law and Order," who has filed suit against the eBay online auction house for displaying old contracts of his with his Social Security number in plain view. As though anyone couldn't get the number simply by knocking him out and taking his wallet.

Roger Anderson is arts and entertainment editor at Scripps Howard News Service.

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