March 15, 2000

Oscar telecast: Looking for a few good hosts

By ROGER ANDERSON Scripps Howard News Service

Never has America witnessed so much dithering as the Motion Picture Academy and its broadcast partners go through each year when it comes to naming an Oscars host.

Once upon a time, it was easy - Johnny Carson presided over the program for years on end. This was before anyone imagined that choosing someone like the host of The Tonight Show meant the movie community was truckling to TV. Johnny was the most charming guy in America, period.

This year it’s Billy Crystal. Last year it was Whoopi Goldberg. One year it was David Letterman. Other years it was Billy Crystal. Whoopi has hosted before. Dave got scorching reviews. Whoopi didn't fare much better. Billy goes over OK but the critics take lots of potshots at him. Maybe next year it will be Whoopi again. Or now that Dave's heart surgery has turned him into a beloved figure, maybe it's time to give him another chance.

You see the problem: Should it be a comedian or a TV personality per se? A likable movie star? (But there are so many of them!)

This is where the modern imperative to "think outside the box" comes in handy. Following is a list of possible future hosts that the Academy most likely would never think of asking.

KATHIE LEE GIFFORD: She's looking for work, and her husband could probably use a night off.

JERRY LEWIS: Never mind charming - go for extremely unpleasant.

JERRY LEE LEWIS: After all, he was in a movie once ("Blackboard Jungle"), and if the program starts to lag he can set his piano on fire.

BRYANT GUMBEL: He must be good for something, and CBS would probably be happy to loan him out.

PETER JENNINGS: The Oscars as breaking news - what a concept!

BILL CLINTON: Next year he'll be available, and everyone knows him.

ANDY ROONEY: Between categories he can grumble about his receipts from the grocery store.

THE MAYTAG REPAIRMAN: No one ever calls him anymore, so let's put him to work.

JERRY SPRINGER: He'll bring Woody, Mia and Soon-Yi along and get the highest ratings ever.

JERRY SEINFELD: Seriously, he would be the best host since Carson.

The Oscar telecast this year will air live on Sunday, March 26, starting at 8 p.m. EST on ABC. Goodness knows when it will conclude.

Scheduled presenters include Roberto Benigni, Annette Bening, James Coburn, Judi Dench, Jane Fonda, Salma Hayek, Samuel L. Jackson, Ashley Judd, Jude Law, Mike Myers, Haley Joel Osment, Gwyneth Paltrow, Keanu Reeves, Steven Spielberg, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Charlize Theron and Chow Yun Fat.

The best news of all this year is that the Academy, in its infinite wisdom, has decided to forgo music-and-dance production numbers, which means the broadcast has a fair chance of concluding before Daylight Savings Time kicks in.

Roger Anderson is arts and entertainment editor at Scripps Howard News Service.

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