February 29, 2000

'Mod Squad' immortal dishes couple du jour

By ROGER ANDERSON Scripps Howard News Service

CELEBRITY SPY: The legendary Clarence Williams III once occupied the exalted show-biz position of portraying "Linc" on the old "Mod Squad" show, inspiring several generations of hipster wannabes to hunker down behind shades and look impassive.

Now he's sunk so low that we find him making the following report to People mag concerning the time he spent on the set of "Reindeer Games," starring Ben Affleck and Charlize Theron.

"Ben's lady Gwyneth flew in to see him all the time on the set," observes Clarence, with reference to Ben's on-again-off-again gal pal of record, Gwyneth Paltrow. "They would be standing in the snow holding hands. People would gasp because it was like the Golden Couple had arrived. Standing there were two Oscar winners."

Clarence, really, don't you have a better way to put in your time?

"They're gorgeous, they have lots of money and fame. You almost want to bow to them." No, we don't. OK, yes, we do.

ANCIENT HISTORY: It seems like eons ago that an award show known as the Grammys was keeping everyone on tenterhooks about who would win, who would show up mostly undressed (Jennifer Lopez, as it turned out), and which superannuated hippie would take home most of the marbles (Carlos Santana).

Only now, though, does word leak through to us that certain well-known musicians attending a post-Grammys party in honor of Arista records top dog Clive Davis had substantive remarks to make about this deal where Clive's bosses at BMG want to push him into retirement.

A New York Post reporter made the rounds at the do and got former Band mate Robbie Robertson, among others, to reflect on the matter.

"He (i.e., Clive) was there when I was the guitar player in Bob Dylan's backup band," Robbie recalls, "so I know Clive for a very long time. He will do well however all this plays out. You've heard of 'Don't Cry for Me, Argentina.' Now you can add 'Don't Cry for Me, Clive Davis.'" Robbie, you might want to consider taking that particular bon mot back to the drawing board.

THE IMPENDING DOUGLAS/ZETA-JONES NUPS: Of course, no column would be complete without some fresh intelligence about the matrimonial plans of Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones. Accordingly, here we have word via the New York Daily News that Michael has ordered 134 ounces of caviar and 362 bottles of Dom Perignon for the reception. The News, very helpfully, goes on to break down those quantities in terms of U.S. currency, to wit: the caviar will cost about $25,000, the bubbly $75,000. You do the math on how that boils down in terms of cost per unit.

THAT WHICH IS TRULY IMPORTANT: Meantime, word is going around that Lisa Kudrow of "Friends" fame is agitating with the show's producers to shoot the award-winning sitcom in the noggin after another season or two for the excellent reason that the young folks in the cast are getting less young all the time, thereby presenting credibility issues in terms of their broadcast personas as aimless, shallow 20somethings. But at least one of Lisa's people is hesitant when it comes to the concept that Lisa feels more strongly about this than anyone else.

"I know Lisa does believe this," her "rep" admits. "I understand the others feel the same way. I don't know that she's necessarily the ringleader, but I think she wants this to end in a credible way rather than just continuing on because of the money." Once again, the name of the planet Lisa hails from?

TINSEL AND SNOW: For us, it’s a dream come true to learn that John Travolta is going to portray a TV weatherman who gets mired in a lottery scam in an upcoming movie titled "Numbers," and the fact that his missus, Kelly Preston, is a co-star makes the circumstance all the sweeter.

Interest is heightened by a report that the producers arranged for some scenes to be shot with artificial snow in Hollywood instead of with the real white stuff on location in Harrisburg, Pa., in an effort to accommodate Kelly, who is pregnant.

Lest anyone imagine that this was a matter of celebrity high-handedness, though, studio spokesman Peter Silverman wants you to understand that, although "part of the reason (for the phony snow) was to accommodate John and Kelly ... John did shoot some scenes in Harrisburg. And he never said, 'I won't do this.'" Peter goes on to observe that it's easier to act when it's not 30 below. (Hey, try writing with mittens sometime.)

A PARTING SALVO: And then there's ace filmmaker George Lucas, who, according to an item in USA Today, recently gave a talk at the University of California at Berkeley during which he made certain rather immoderate and even unequivocal remarks about the Fourth Estate, specifically characterizing the entertainment media as "shallow, full of a lot of erroneous assumption and sensationalized to the point of being fabricated ..."

Next week: George fails drug test, banned from baseball.

Roger Anderson is arts and entertainment editor at Scripps Howard News Service.

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