March 16, 1999

NBC HONCHO BRISTLES AT NOTION THAT BROKAW IS NOT A SAINT

By ROGER ANDERSON Scripps Howard News Service

MORNING TELEVISION (YAWN): Now that the ongoing question of how and by whom network TV morning shows will be staffed, formatted, promoted and broadcast has become the most important issue facing Western civilization, it's especially interesting to note that Tom Brokaw put a little bit of his foot in his mouth when he made a celebrity guest appearance on NBC's "Today" show not long ago.

Suffice it to say that the distinguished anchorfellow said something to the effect that he envies homeless people because they get to sleep more than he does.

No sooner did the remark go out over the airwaves than self-appointed moralists chimed in with a collective "Tsk, tsk, tsk." So someone at USA Today sought out "Today" producer Jeff Zucker for a comment. And we suggest that you pay special attention to his reply.

“Do you seriously think," Jeff asks, in what we can only assume is a rhetorical vein, "that Tom Brokaw would be insensitive to anyone less fortunate than he? I don't think so." (One keeps forgetting that media people who are paid Tom's kind of astronomical salary are exempt from the failings of human nature.)

MORNING TELEVISION (YAWN, STRETCH, YAWN); In related news, it was being bruited about recently that "Today" weather mascot Al Roker was looking to jump ship in favor of doing a morning show on CBS with Bryant Gumbel. But Al says such rumors are mere piffle.

"I'm happy at NBC," he tells the New York Daily News. "I'm sorry that all this speculation about me has come out in the papers. I didn't intend for that to happen.'

So why did it?

"Two factors," says Al, who is nothing if not methodical. "One, morning TV has become a very big deal, and two, I have 10 months to go on my contract. But I don't think I'm going anywhere." He seems to become less unequivocal about it as he goes on, doesn't he?

MORNING TELEVISION (ZZZZZZZZZ): Not only that, but speculation has been rife - or at least semi-rife - that drydocked newswoman Connie Chung would be tapped to take over from Diane Sawyer on ABC's "Good Morning America." However, Connie herself says it's not likely to happen, unless things are arranged so that she only has to report on "the big stories."

“It's the other stuff I don't want to do," she tells a print colleague, "like the cooking segments and the stories about toys at Christmas time. Maury has been doing those kinds of segments for 35 years." (Connie's reference, of course, is to Maury Povich, her broadcast-journalist husband.) "I don't need to be doing them, too."

CELEBRITY THANKLESSNESS: Here's an item that says Bill Sammeth, who served as Cher's business manager for no fewer than 22 years only to be righteously canned in the wake of her tune "Believe" becoming a No. 1 smasheroo, is suing the former Mrs. Sonny Bono on allegations that she has failed to pony up his share of the "Believe" moolah.

"I'm not a celebrity," Bill explains, "and I'm not looking for publicity."

Then what are you and what are you looking for?

"I'm a businessman. I'm looking for fairness." Well, best of luck.

ON THE SICK LIST: Unsophisticated people probably think that Marilyn Manson is the only giant of show business who has recently been sidelined as the result of sustaining an injury to his ankle, but really hip observers are aware that Bobby Zarem - a giant in the world of public- relations flackdom - has been holed up at Bellevue Hospital in New York as a consequence of breaking his.

CELEBRITY MEDIEVAL TORTURE: Once again, we are indebted to our role model Walter Scott at Parade magazine for answering a reader's query about "a new massage technique that uses hot rocks."

The same uninitiated people who don't understand the significance of Bobby Zarem's medical condition will imagine this is a reference to Swedish sauna, but the facts are far more Interesting.

According to Walter, the technique involves heating rocks and then rubbing them over aching muscles. He even happens to know that a Tucson, Ariz., therapist flew a mess of rocks to the set of "Lethal Weapon 4" for the express purpose of regaling Mel Gibson and director Richard Donner with a bit of this treatment. However, rumors that Mel then confessed to being in league with Satan appear exaggerated at the very least.

Roger Anderson is arts and entertainment editor at Scripps Howard News Service.

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