February 8, 2000

Don't invite Gwyneth and Oscar to the
same party

By ROGER ANDERSON Scripps Howard News Service

THE LATEST ON DOUGLAS, ZETA-JONES: Actually we've sworn an oath to hold off on the latest galvanizing Michael Douglas/Catherine Zeta-Jones matrimony/pregnancy news till later in the column.

What we have for you here is proof that being Gwyneth Paltrow isn't necessarily the dream come true that peons like you probably imagine it to be.

"I had this intensely private moment in front of a billion people," Gwyneth tells People mag with reference to her Oscar triumph last year. "So I felt really exposed and embarrassed afterward. I just kind of got in bed and had a fever and was sick. It took me a long time before I thought I could go back out into the world. And I still have, like, post-traumatic stress from the whole thing."

THE LATEST ON DOUGLAS, ZETA-JONES: Not so fast - next up is another example of celebrity sainthood, this one pertaining to Kirsten Dunst, the "Dick" star who apparently was a regular Mama Theresa during the filming of Sofia Coppola's virgin directorial effort, "The Virgin Suicides," during which Kirsten shared her trailer with lesser luminaries who were appearing in the flick.

"She was an exceptional human being," "Suicides" producer Julie Costanzo testifies. "She taught everyone how to behave." Then for her sake we hope she never has to undergo the horror of winning an Academy Award.

THE LATEST ON DOUGLAS, ZETA-JONES: But first here's an actor named Adam Farrar talking about what a great guy his stepbrother is, a circumstance rendered pertinent by the fact that his stepbrother's name is Leonardo DiCaprio.

"Just watching his career has been a lesson in itself," Adam, soon to appear in a motion pic titled “Pups," tells USA Today. "What's important is to stay true to yourself, your family and your friends and, above all, stay humble." There's also the opportunity to have intimate relations with a lot of supermodels, but we guess that's not what he's talking about.

THE LATEST ON DOUGLAS, ZETA-JONES: What we've really got at this point in the column is Madonna Ciccone talking to Jane mag about why she wants to provide her daughter, Lourdes, with a little sibling. "I think Lola (the tot's nickname) should have a brother or sister," she says. "I think she's incredibly spoiled." Who in the world could she have gotten that from?

THE LATEST ON DOUGLAS, ZETA-JONES: We hate to keep tormenting you this way, but before we go any further we have to share with you the latest on Sarah, the Duchess of Fergie, and her ongoing effort to carve a little security for herself and her daughters out of her global fame. This time, a report says the Duchess and her divorced husband, the Duke, have made arrangements for the two princesses to attend an exclusive boarding school in the Swiss Alps.

"Fergie," the report continues, "is expected to move to Switzerland, so the girls won't have to live at school." Happily, that also gives her a sitcom plot to pitch to the networks.

THE LATEST ON DOUGLAS, ZETA-JONES: Which reminds us of an item in the New York Daily News concerning a book some guy has written about Rod Stewart in which the author claims, among other things, that Rod "once tried to throw Elton John out of a limo they were sharing."

THE LATEST ON DOUGLAS, ZETA-JONES: Anyone who, against all odds, is still reading this column will be pleased to learn that we do in fact have information that says Michael Douglas is telling W magazine that he had a major thing for Catherine Zeta-Jones, to whom he is currently engaged and who is carrying his bambino-to-be, long before they ever met personally.

"I first saw her up on the screen the way everybody did," Michael tells W with reference to an industry screening of Catherine's cinematic milestone, “The Mask of Zorro." “But to my mind I had not seen anybody since Julie Christie who had all that." All that what? "It wasn't just her looks but her persona (that) came through." Right.

MORE! What's really exciting, though, is word in a different report that Catherine will change her surname to Zeta-Douglas once Michael has made an honest woman out of her. At least, that's what “a friend of the couple" tells the Daily News, for reasons that will remain forever mysterious.

RUNNING OUT OF STEAM NOW: Finally, here's word that the pair will tie the knot at Skibo Castle in the Scottish Highlands. Sorry, that's all we've got. Next week: Michael and Catherine order monogrammed tea cozies.

Roger Anderson is arts and entertainment editor at Scripps Howard News Service.

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