February 1, 2000

True or false: Douglas, Zeta-Jones don't even know each other

By ROGER ANDERSON Scripps Howard News Service

EDITORIAL COMMENT: It seems like only yesterday, although it was, in fact, a few months ago, that Michael Douglas' flacks were swearing up and down that their client and the beauteous, much younger Catherine Zeta-Jones were not an item.

After the furious backpedaling that ensued when it came to light that the two stars were indeed keeping company, it then fell to their PR persons to insist all over the place that the pair were not mulling matrimonial plans.

Once it became ungainsayable that the pair are altar-bound, suddenly what their reps were saying was that, no, Catherine was not pregnant with Michael's bambino-to-be, no matter how many rumors claimed that she was.

Now that it is official that Catherine is pregnant with Michael's and her incipient progeny, the lesson for journalists is unmistakable: Print gossip now and ask questions later, if at all.

CELEBRITY LOVEBIRDS, CONTINUED: Here's People mag explaining that some of Barbra Streisand and James Brolin's neighbors in Malibu, Calif., are unhappy with the aforesaid couple's plans to "build a 6,700-square-foot barn-like structure on the three-acre compound where they live," to borrow not just the gist but the exact wording of People's report.

Not surprisingly, one of Barbra's public-relations employees weighs in with a pertinent remark: "(Those opposed to Barbra's and James' building plans) are saying it's 12,000 square feet, but that includes the basement, and you don't include that." It's right there in the rules on the back of the box.

TRUMP NEWS FROM ALL OVER: No one could accuse us of giving short shrift lately to news that Donald Trump, on the eve of his presidential candidacy, decided to give his babe-of-record Melania Knauss the heave-ho. Nor will we neglect to advise you that USA Today is retailing rumors, as broadcast on MSNBC, that the two have mended their fences and are back together again.

Don't get your hopes up, though. "I was surprised about the story," Melania observes in a statement, "and I didn't know anything about it."

Then the New York Post gets into the picture with a report that rumors of a Donald-Melania rapprochement to the contrary notwithstanding, the billionaire was recently seen at a famous Manhattan restaurant known as 21 kissing a female companion whose name is neither Melania or Knauss. Specifically, the item says Donald's smooching partner was "the tiny and delectable Connie Young," and more than that we cannot or, at least, will not tell you.

NON-NEWS, CONTINUED: Then there's this deal where Mariah Carey appears in Rolling Stone magazine in the form of great big photographs that show off her skin, decolletage, etc. Accordingly, some snipes are sniping that Mariah’s breasts must have been surgically enhanced, so sumptuous do they suddenly appear to be. Fortunately, a Mariah spokeswoman named Cindi Berger is ready, willing and able to set the record straight with a comment to the New York Daily News: "She's just lost a lot of weight." That explains everything.

BUSINESS AND THE ARTS: It's been pretty clear for some time now that the Planet Hollywood franchise was not long for this world, and now it's official as shill Arnold Schwarzenegger decides not to renew his five-year contract with the chain eatery-and-drinkery.

"Of course," Arnold says in a statement that is nothing if not perfectly redundant, "I am disappointed that the company did not continue with the success I had expected and hoped for."

LITTLE-KNOWN FACTS: If you still don't believe that gossip dowager Liz Smith is omniscient, consider her report that rocker­turned-actor Jon Bon Jovi lately is working 10 to 13 hours a day on his next album.

LITTLE-KNOWN FACTS, CONTINUED: By the same token, here's a reliable report - reliable because it originates with our favorite columnist, Cindy Adams - that supermodel Cindy Crawford (no relation) was recently given a set of china by the Manhattan nightspot Nirvana in appreciation of her regular attendance at that popular bistro.

NO DANCING ALLOWED: Most people seem to be very happy that the Oscar awards this year will be telecast sans dance numbers.

“It seems to be a very popular decision," Oscar’s producer Richard Zanuck tells a reporter. "We've gotten bottles of wine and letters saying, 'Thank God you cut the dance numbers.' We just didn't think the dance numbers fit in. It's a celebration of films and film music."

Wait, though - Bruce Villanch, the guy who writes a lot of the funny stuff you hear on the telecast each year doesn't seem to have gotten the message. Here's Bruce expressing his delight that Billy Crystal has been inked to return as host: "He sings, he dances. Traditionally, most of the hosts just come and emcee and do jokes. Billy does it all." Then someone better tell him: both feet on the floor at all times.

Roger Anderson is arts and entertainment editor at Scripps Howard News Service.

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